Seven team-specific fake eBay listings, ready to go every cycle, styled exactly like the real site — photo, description, seller, and current bid. The items are always something your team has misplaced, squandered, or never possessed. Reserve has not been met, and never may be met.
Les Snead’s Necklace — AUTHENTIC, WORN DURING ALL DRAFT DECISIONS
Authentic necklace worn by Les Snead during every Rams draft decision since 2012. Provenance unverifiable but spiritually certain. The necklace has been present for 3 Super Bowl appearances and 1 championship. Sold as-is. No returns. The necklace does not accept returns.
$47,000
current bid
The Folder — CONTENTS UNKNOWN — Sealed — DO NOT OPEN
A folder. Contents unknown. Has been on Les Snead’s desk for an indeterminate period of time. No one in the room has asked about it. You are encouraged not to ask about it either. Winning bidder will receive the folder. The folder will not explain itself.
$1,000,000
current bid
McVay Chalkboard — SCHEME TOO COMPLEX FOR STAFF — 3-Week Seminar Required
One (1) chalkboard containing a play diagram so complex that McVay’s own staff required a 3-week seminar just to understand the concept of it. The seminar was described as ‘clarifying’ and ‘philosophically destabilizing.’ Chalk not included. Understanding not guaranteed.
$8,500
current bid
Defensive Coordinator Resignation Letter — PHILOSOPHICAL REASONS — Authentic
One of three identical resignation letters submitted by defensive coordinators on the same Thursday. Each cited ‘philosophical reasons.’ None had coached against the Rams this season. Investigators believe they had simply watched the film. Letter is authentic. Philosophy is non-transferable.
$2,200
current bid
2022 Super Bowl Ring — RAMS — Worn Once — Excellent Condition
Authentic Los Angeles Rams Super Bowl LVI Championship Ring. Worn once during the victory parade. Stored in a climate-controlled facility since. The ring is real. The championship is real. The other 31 teams’ feelings about it are also real.
$125,000
current bid
Snead’s Draft Board — ROUNDS 4-7 ONLY — Laminated — ‘The Good Stuff’
A laminated copy of Les Snead’s Rounds 4-7 draft board. The first three rounds have been redacted. Snead described rounds 4-7 as ‘where the real work happens.’ Thirty-one other teams have attempted to replicate this board. None have succeeded. The board does not explain why.
$31,000
current bid
Jared Goff Trade Retrospective — FRAMED — ‘In Hindsight’ Edition
A framed, archival-quality retrospective of the Jared Goff trade. Includes the original trade details, a timeline of subsequent events, and a brief editorial note from Detroit that reads: ‘We are fine. We are genuinely fine. Please stop asking.’ Signed by no one in particular.
$4,100
current bid
